It's Okay to Be Where You're At
Hi all! I hope this week finds you well. I have a heavier post than usual today because something has been weighing on my heart, and while I didn’t plan to make a blog post about it, I figured if others were having similar feelings it would be a relief to know that they were not alone. Graduation season has me feeling so many conflicting things. This graduation year specifically has been slightly difficult for me. I am SO unbelievably proud of my friends and family for all the hard work they have put in the past few years and I absolutely am proud and happy for them. But also, I have these feelings of failure, jealousy, sadness, confusion…etc. If I had stayed on track, this would have been my graduating year from Kansas State University. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my life (and Theodore, my little buddy) but I am still having these feelings and I don’t want to ignore it.
My parents, friends, other adults that I’ve respected growing up all make it very obvious that your college degree is one of the most important things you’ll get in your whole life (and it surely is). And while nobody specifically ever says it’s a failure to not achieve that in four years, when you don’t, people start saying things like, “there are other options out there”, or “school really isn’t for everyone”…I could go on. I am SO passionate about my education, but until you’re in my shoes, you won’t ever know how difficult it has been to finish my degree. Only I and God truly understand that. (And, if you reading this are having a hard time finishing your degree, or any type of education, only YOU truly understand what you’re going through). In a way it’s unbelievably frustrating to know that people think less of me because I still don’t have my degree (whether they realize it or not, they do think less of me- I can see it in the way they look at me during conversations and I can hear it in the accidental condescending comments) but then again, it has made me stronger, and my drive stronger.
We’re reminded in times of struggle and for me, embarrassment, that as I said earlier God is one of the few who understand how we feel- how we TRULY feel and not what we project. Philippians 4:13 is one of the most popular bible verses just about ever and it reads, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength”. Your Lord is always with you and he is rooting for you. The literal God of the universe WANTS you to succeed and is giving you strength. For all I know, if I hadn’t encountered these condescending comments I wouldn’t have the drive to finish. So honestly, when I have the strength I occasionally thank God for my feelings of shame as they are partially what motivates me. Another biblical motivator for me is our constant reminder to be patient. All things come in their due time. Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”. And lastly, Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known unto God.” Sometimes it’s as simple as that, pray to God that you’re willing and ready to finish your degree strong! I’m not perfect in prayer by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t remember to simply tell God what I want and need, and the Bible tells us plainly that sometimes that’s all it takes.
For those who don’t believe in God or the Bible and are struggling with jealousy or shame or a similar feeling during graduation season (if you have made it this far, I applaud you), remember that your friends who have graduated are actually cheering for you to do the same. It never feels this way, but imagine yourself in their shoes. You know you’d be supportive and wish their success. Once you realize this it may be easier to reach out and ask for their words of encouragement! For me, to simply KNOW they wish me well isn’t enough sometimes. And people often don’t realize they should reach out and offer encouragement, especially when we tend to keep feelings like this bottled up. So reach out to your friends if you need encouragement, and reach out to your friends who you think may need encouragement!
Lastly I want to say that it's okay to be where you are at. We all follow unique paths- literally not a single person has the same path, and yours is just as valid as the next. Sometimes we can turn to a Bible for motivation and sometimes we need to be our own motivators. However you get it done, though, stay positive and know that you can.
Thank you for reading, and a sincere congratulations to those who graduated this year!
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