Sunday Six: Six Things That Planning a Wedding Taught Me
Hi all! Planning a wedding is quite a process. It tests you physically and emotionally, which is good! I did a lot of reflecting, mostly towards the end of the planning process when things started feeling serious. I realized I have grown a whole lot these past two years (yes, we planned this wedding for two years lol) due to the whole process. I wanted to share some of the things I was feeling on my wedding day, the week leading up to it, and now.
1. I will never be able to grasp the amount of love that I have for my family.
Sounds weird, I know. But even though my family and friends have been immensely supportive my entire life, I never felt it quite like I did during the wedding planning process. The enormous amount of love I knew I had for them already grew ten-fold. I think we're capable of sharing way more love than we can even imagine and planning my wedding and watching it all unfold with all of my family made me feel a level of love for them that I didn't think was possible.
2. Give them good food and good music and they will come.
I really stressed over all of the details of my wedding- I think most brides do. And in part I'm grateful that I did, because the day was exactly how I imagined it. BUT, truly all the guests needed was dinner and dancing. Their focus really is just on the bride and groom. When I had imagined the day, I imagined people being just as interested in the color scheme, flowers, hair and makeup, etc. as I had been planning the wedding. They aren't, haha. The guests are there to celebrate the couple and have fun. My wedding would have been just as successful with a good DJ and a delicious dinner. If you're a bride planning your wedding right now, relax. Your guests already love you and having the perfect floral arrangement will not change that love for greater or lesser. Make sure to enjoy the planning process (side note: I really really did) and don't stress yourself to your end!
3. I tend to stress myself out over what might happen, instead of focusing on what actually will.
This is more of a personal realization, and something I'd like to work on. Throughout the week I found myself thinking, "What if we forget the flowers?", "What if I'm late to the ceremony?", "What if nobody enjoys dinner?", "What if I mess up dancing?". I literally thought to myself a few times that I should rehearse the first dance with Matthew because I didn't want to be embarrassed. And now, admitting that is a little embarrassing. I was so enveloped in happiness on my wedding day that even if something had gone wrong I don't think I would have noticed, or cared. Our first dance came and went quickly, but it was the most fun I think I've ever had. During the dance with my father (which I was also nervous about, of course) Theodore rushed the dance floor and joined us. If I had thought of that happening beforehand it would have made me very nervous, but I'm actually so glad it happened! I know when I look back on that "oopsie" it will bring so much joy. My advice to you is to focus on the great things that will obviously happen instead of focusing on the bad things that might. Focus on the fact that everyone in the room will be gleaming. Focus on the happiness that will be bubbling in your tummy all day long. Focus on your bridesmaids or groomsmen who are there on that day to serve and celebrate YOUR love! There are so many amazing things surrounding you on your wedding day, it is a shame to disregard those things and stress about the possibility of mistakes. 😊
4. It's okay to be the center of attention.
Truly, it is. Throughout the planning process, for the most part, to answer my vendors/friends/parents questions about my preferences I would think about what would make the guests happier. That's okay, but I wouldn't recommend planning your entire wedding this way. I really did want to give our family and friends a fantastic evening, but in the end the day is about Matthew and I and our love and commitment to each other and in our case, God. I eventually figured it out and started making decisions that would create a wedding that was our personality instead of what would please others, and it's when I started enjoying the planning process. When people are reminding you that this day is about you, believe them and take it to heart.
5. Most of the people you know want you to succeed and be happy.
We all have tons of acquaintances. On an average day the extent of the interaction you may have with your acquaintances would probably be a like on Facebook. When you're engaged it's a whole new story. People you haven't spoken to in years will reach out with their congratulations and advice and well wishes. It's a beautiful reminder that even those who aren't your best friends wish the best for you! And they don't ONLY wish the best for you for those four seconds that they're messaging you. You can rest assured that you have lots of acquaintances that ALWAYS want the best for you. Planning my wedding helped me to realize this and it was super encouraging. I hope you realize this as well! Your acquaintances love you!
6. Humankind on average is joyous and supportive.
Kind of similar to the last lesson that I learned, but a little different. People that I didn't even know would come up to me and tell me how wonderful things were going to go on my wedding day when I was shopping for wedding things or if they overheard me speaking of them. On my wedding day, while we were taking photos outside, complete strangers driving by would yell out the window that they were happy for us (one man said, "Congrats! I love you guys! Stay blessed!" and it was hilarious and heart-warming), a pair of policemen blared their sirens and waved at us out the window, even a few homeless approached and gave us their best wishes and congratulations. I believe what you put into the world you will get out of it. I think a lot of others believe that, too, and as a byproduct humankind is very supportive and kind to one another! You just have to allow them to be and open your eyes to their kindness.
Planning my wedding had ups and downs, of course. It was hard. But obviously soooo much good came out of it! It sounds so weird to say, but planning my wedding encouraged me to grow mentally and I learned so much.
Thank you for reading this! I hope if you're planning a wedding you're encouraged by this post!
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